Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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