i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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