If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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