I'll bet she douches with gravy.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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