I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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