I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
