I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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