Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
