White coat. Heels.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
