If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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