dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
