So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
