Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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