You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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