I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
