oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
