my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
