I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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