i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
