WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
