I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
