did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
