I've blown a few things in my day
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
