life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize