Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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