he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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