bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
