What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
