Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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