I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
