fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
