So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
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You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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