hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
