his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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