Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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