Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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