I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
