Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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