Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
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