you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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