Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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