remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
tell me about the fingering
Randomize