I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
