i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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