Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
