On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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