Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
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IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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