He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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