yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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