So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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