That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So much rum. So many feels.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
