This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
