My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
