She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
