she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
