Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
