Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
