I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
