I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
