i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Drake has all the answers
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
