They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just want nice things and good sex
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
