Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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